No-Way-Ned never said any word but “no.”
“Would you like to see a picture show?”
“Want to fish and watch the river flow?”
“Want to plant a garden and help it grow?”
“Do you ever say yes?”
“Do you think I'm the best?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes.”
“No. No. No.”
If you try to take an old man's cane,
he'll use it to give you a 'whack!'
If you try to take an old lady's purse,
she'll use it to give you a 'thwack!'
If you try to take an old man's false teeth,
he'll use them to give you a 'chomp!'
If you try to take an old lady's shoe,
she'll use it to give you a 'stomp!'
But if you take an elderly person's advice,
they'll be sure to treat you nice.
Jimmy John Johnson can tie up his boot
using nothing at all but his toes.
Little Brad Brady can toot on a flute
by sticking it right up his nose.
Todd can juggle nine feral cats
while balancing atop Jared's head.
This he does while Jared bounces
up and down on a box spring bed.
In one bite Alex eats an entire cake,
and Sue can swing by her hair.
Ted can pole-vault with a gardening rake,
and flip as he flies through the air.
Billy can croak just like a toad,
and Gertrude sings opera soprano.
Together they took their show on the road
with a dog trained in classical piano.
Aaron eats bugs, and Rex gives hugs
to porcupines, spiders, and snakes.
Two liters of root beer Freddy can chug,
but Emily can drink a whole lake.
So many talents, so much to share,
oh won't you add yours to the mix?
Step forward please, if you dare,
and show us one of your tricks.