Grab yer saddle and spurs,
yer ridin' boots 'n reins.
Now mount yer ride,
a piggy's hide,
and gallup across the plains!

My ham can outrun any horse.
I'll prove it; come on, let's race.
You count to three,
and soon you will see,
a pig's the top-dog in a chase.

There's nothin' like riding a hog;
an oinker is a mighty fine beast.
He's so fast he flies,
and if'n he dies,
we'll have ourselves a nice feast.

So while I'm riding today,
I'll dig in my spurs nice and deep,
to pre-tenderize
the piggy's sides
for tonight I'm eatin' rib meat.

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