Spiders and Diapers

My wife screams “A spider!”
and I'm quickly beside her,
with shoe ready to fend off the bug.
I hold my hand ready
and move slowly and steady:
'Slap' it lay curled on the rug.

My wife buries her head,
I proclaim “It is dead.
And with shoe I shall always defend you.”
Then I pick up the body
'Flush' it goes down the potty.
There's nothing a husband can't do.

My son makes a noise
as he plays with his toys,
and it's not from his mouth the noise comes.
Then up reeks a smell
and I shout and I yell
louder than timpani drums.

Up charges my wife
afraid for my life,
“Dear, it's only a dirty diaper!”
In a minute or two
my son is fresh and anew.
Oh there's nothing a wife cannot do!